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The Actuary The magazine of the Institute & Faculty of Actuaries

Actuary of the future: Mark Heller

Mark Heller

Employer and area of work

Austin Professional Resourcing LLP and life insurance.

How would your best friend describe you?

The fount of all knowledge.

What motivates you?

My unceasing quest to bestride the actuarial profession like a colossus for centuries after my death.

What would be your personal motto?

Keep up the good work.

Name five dream guests you would invite to a dinner party?

Chris “The Big Dog” Makomereh – my actuarial inspiration; Silvio Berlusconi, to add some gravitas and class to proceedings; the late Kim Jong-Il, so he can give me tips on my golf swing; and Vicky Pryce and Chris Huhne, to teach us the secret of a happy marriage.

What’s your most ‘actuarial’ habit?

My hard partying lifestyle

Favourite Excel function?

‘CUBEKPIMEMBER’, no contest. It’s got me out of a few sticky situations I can tell you.

How do you relax away from the office?

When in Edinburgh I relax by attending my favourite local nightspot, The Hive. I revel in the exclusive and rarefied atmosphere of the place and have realised my dream of becoming a gold card holder.

Alternative career choice?

Editor of The Actuary.

Tell us something unusual about yourself

I was a (surprisingly unsuccessful) contestant on X Factor in 2012. It’s a fix, and not at all like what you see on television.

Greatest risk you have ever taken?

I put £100k on red in a Las Vegas casino last summer. I regret nothing. It would have been a hell of a night if it had come up.

What’s your most treasured possession?

My razor-sharp wit.

What are the top 3 things you would like to achieve in your lifetime?

See Tottenham Hotspur win the league, marry a supermodel, win the lottery.

If you ruled the world, what would you change first?

Nothing. Nobody likes change.

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