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The Actuary The magazine of the Institute & Faculty of Actuaries

The Scotsman and the Actuary (After Lewis Carroll)

The Scotsman and the Actuary
Were walking in The Strand,
Both heading for the Gallio Club
Which lay quite close at hand.
Its reputation went before
The evening would be grand.

Soon other diners hurried up
All eager for the treat
Their suits were blue, their ties of silk,
Their trouser creases neat,
Their shirts were made in Saville Row
Their outfits were complete.

The Scotsman has come down frae Skye
To tak’ a little look
At Staple Inn, and meet some friends,
And talk about his book,
And get a prize, and smile a bit,
And have his photie took.

A choice of soups, the Scotsman said,
Is what we chiefly need,
Shoulder of mutton, Surrey fowl
Are very good indeed.
Now, if we’re ready, gentlemen,
We can begin to feed.

The time has come, the Scotsman said,
To talk of many things,
Of life – and death – cohort effects –
Exposed to risk – and jings!
Are split caps really boiling hot,
Do pensions still have wings?
O diners, said the honoured guest,
I’ve had a lovely time,
To Nick and Graham, the Gallio Club,
All members in their prime,
I hope that you appreciate
My thanks expressed in rhyme.

Iain Currie

Nick Dumbreck writes:
The above poem below was used in a speech by Iain Currie (of Heriot-Watt University, who has been co-author of a number of sessional meeting papers on mortality) at the Gallio Club a couple of years ago. ‘Graham’ in the last verse is a reference to Graham Clay, who was chairman of the Gallio Club at the time; the current chairman is Chris Lewin. I was (and still am) the secretary.